Jayson Werth Creates Huge Deal by Saying Thing
By Justin Klugh
Jayson Werth recently insulted everyone by *sound of train crashing*
Can we not do this this time.
It would be so easy to taking a heartily childish standpoint after the story of Jayson Werth agreeing with his new GM/swearing buddy Mike Rizzo that the Phillies suck. But reacting like this says nothing, except that maybe people are waiting for something, anything, melodramatic to unwind so they can take defensive standpoints–because that may be all they know how to do.
This really sounds like more of a social ploy anyway. Think about it. Rizzo’s got everybody’s attention, like shooting a hostage on live television, only the hostage was Jayson Werth and the pistol was $126 million. Before that, he’s building the blueprints for this plan, as the Nationals quietly suck at the bottom of the division for years, stockpiling top draft picks. Now, with the groundwork lain and the first shot fired, he needs a persona. The Nats and their fans are a blank slate. There’s the Nationals Call to Arms guy, sure, but his cadence indicates he learned to speak English an hour ago and it’s no mystery that Nationals Park is flooded with all sorts of us any time the Phils are in town.
So now Rizzo’s just looking for a ‘tude-gruff and profane works in Philly, so why not start pissing people off, not only with his own comments–but those from the very boy he seduced from our bowels.
So maybe we shouldn’t take this obvious ploy as a personal insult because doing so would kind of make us look like we’re desperate for shit to freak out about. It’s okay to hate people as we do, but this was so… blatant and unprovoked in the short term that it feels like we’re walking into a trap.
…
It’s pointless, isn’t it. Well, I tried. Don’t blame me when we’re lying at the bottom of a Burmese Tiger Pit, impaled through the knee by a spike carved out of a sapling, as Rizzo and Werth stand over us chortling and smoking victory cigars.