What could possibly be grabbing your morning in its fist and crushing your plans into splinters, whilst throwing in lyrics to an early 2000s rap hit? You’ve got to be at work in 15 minutes and god help you if Saunders sees you coming in late again. God help you.
All that picking we FanSided NL East editors have been doing over the last few weeks was not just for our own amusement. You may have thought so because we were the only ones to participate in it and the selections were made without consulting you. But now, this epic saga soldiers on to Call to the Pen, where a staff full of genius baseball writers, and me, usually writing about something stupid, call home.
There, on FanSided’s flagship of our MLB network (This site is more of an inflatable raft of delirious survivors being gradually picked off by a highly intelligent shark), we invite you, the readers, to take part in this madness.
At this hour, our NL East team is stomping the christ out of the competition, which include the homes of Albert Pujols and the home of the defending World Series Champions. So, if you’ve got an opinion–and this is the internet, where opinions come to shout at each other–head on over to Call to the Pen and make yourself heard by performing your civic duty.
And slash Saunders’ tires while you’re accomplishing things today. Remember the way he was eying your wife at the Christmas party? Stupid Saunders.