The economy! As a child, I thought it was a sandwich. Eventually, it became the name of the class that ripped my mind in half. Now, in my adult life, it is the reason we give for having no money. The economy is the worst sandwich I’ve ever had.
And so, because of the unemployment caused by an entity that has haunted me personally since childhood, over 500 people showed up at Coca-Cola Park on Saturday, looking for their third and fourth jobs. Which is incredible, when you consider the sort of anti-swine climate that has been brewing in the Allentown area for some time. Sure, spurts of rebellion have erupted from time to time in the form of a strongly-worded petition, but the sheer volume of those willing to give their lives to the ‘Pigs in such a region is heroic.
What better illustrates the nostalgia and grandeur of baseball season than teenagers looking to see some free games and old people trying desperately to recover their savings? Actual baseball, yes. And hot dogs and alcohol. And pig motifs.
Yes, in the face of this devastating sandw economy, baseball has become a welcoming corral of temporary job placement. May we all be so lucky to find ourselves in baseball’s sweet embrace come spring time: Deep frying food by the bucketful; blocking teenagers from stumbling onto the field, or slaughtering a family of cows to build a hamburger the size of a car.