Weeks ago, the Phillies announced that they are funneling their faithful fanbase toward the starting line of a charity 5K. It seems the Single-A affiliate and two-time South Atlantic League terrors, the Lakewood BlueClaws, are taking a page from their big club’s book and copying it word for word. My relationship with running has been a fractured, messy affair; often doused in human vomit (my own) and looks of embarrassment (my relatives). From a young age, I would wait behind home plate at the end of baseball practice, quietly panicking as we would do that drill where the whole team runs the bases twice, and you don’t leave home until the guy in front of you touches first base.
April 10 at First Energy Stadium at 10:30 am will be another chance for those of you capable of physical activity beyond “temper tantrums” to prove to the rest of us what being in shape looks like. The BlueClaws 5K ends at the stadium, all participants get tickets to that day’s 1:05 game, and I have no idea who the beneficiaries are. I assume it’s no one awful.
Maybe someday, if they reshape the world of baseball team fundraising to include activities like Phillies blog-having, I can make a significant contribution. Oh, wait. They already had one of those. I lost.