Bad-Ass Phillies Writers Wanted

I am That Balls Outta Here, a Phillies blog you’ve possibly heard of but maybe not.  I have just become self-aware.

I currently employ a lead writer, but he is weary from shouldering the load of all the responsibilities all these years.  I seek three staff writers to fill three positions.  Be warned; in all of these jobs, the writer must be in tune with the tone of the site: humorous, personal, knowing plenty about the Phillies–their past, present, and hopeful future–and you must, must know how to use a comma.  Send all inquiries to thatballsouttahere@gmail.com.

Three staff positions:

MINOR LEAGUE WRITER – Sure, the Phillies are great, but where do they come from?  Yeah, in recent years, they come from other teams.  Mainly the Astros.  But that farm system isn’t in the shambles many assume it is.  You keep tabs on Lakewood, Clearwater, Williamsport, Reading, and Lehigh.  You post one article a week on the comings and goings of the Phils’ minor leaguers.  As with any of these positions, you are more than welcome to throw up a post regarding anything minor league-related multiple times, but you are REQUIRED to make that one post, every week.  And you love it.

DIVISIONAL WRITER/PR GUY – You, sir or madam, would be responsible for starting and/or maintaining contact with other blogs from other sites.  Big series against the Mets coming up?  You were just reading a Mets blog the other day and liked the cut of a writer’s jib.  Get his opinion on a few matters.  Once a week, you’re writing a recap of what our four chief rivals are up to.  You’re also extending a communicative branch to writers/any representatives of a team we’re playing.  You are our smiling, charming face; seducing folks to get into bed with us.  You devil you.

GAME RECAP ARTIST – Whether Cliff Lee struck out the other team’s batting coach or Ryan Howard was called out on nine strikes in three different at bats, you’re telling the tale of last night’s Phillies game.  You know the Phillies, you know their background, you know whose injured, you how it all went down.  You have an opinion about it all too–this ain’t no objective analysis.  This is what happened, where, why and how.  You are all about telling the 2011 Phillies story as it unfolds, nine innings at a time.  But you won’t have to do all of them, as the lead writer for this site will probably encroach upon this with overreactions and profanity all season long.

Do you have strong opinions and a loud voice?  Get in here.  Please include a writing sample and use a semi colon correctly at least once in your introductory email.

Thanks for your time.  Though I guess you probably weren’t itching to get back to the rest of craigslist.