Sheer volume of expectations... causing migraine... *head explodes*

Roy Halladay Groin/Balls News

For $495, you–yes you–can purchase one of Roy Halladay’s balls!  Which one would you like?  The one from the perfect game in Florida?  Or the one from the second post season no-hitter in history?  What’s that?  You’re just a normal person who doesn’t have five hundred bucks lying around to spend on the internet?

Why am I even talking to you.In non-childish pun news, Roy Halladay’s groin is feeling much better after a two week break and then two months of running stairs.

It was December 1–do you even remember December 1?  It… wasn’t even… really that cold yet.  Anyways, it was December 1 when Roy Halladay’s body had fully reassembled itself, yes, exactly like the T-1000.

“Surprisingly, it’s been very easy.”

–Roy Halladay

Ha, ha, ha.  Oh, Roy.  Of course it has.

And because of Doc’s unheard of dedication and pristine groin, Roy also addressed the expectations of the fans.  To which I reply a politely offended, “What?”

Nobody’s… nobody’s got wild expectations.  We’ll all be happy as long as everyone has a good time and stays healthy.  I’ve started a petition to submit to CSN that would require the first question of each post game interview to be “Hey, didja have fun out there?!”  Will it succeed?  Absolutely not.  In fact, I was too exhausted after coming up with the idea to actually put it on paper.  The point is, no pressure, guys.  We’re not on the verge of tearing this city apart upon anything less than trophy-worthy baseball.

[Patrick Madrid]

Tags: December Expectations Off Season Phillies Roy Halladay

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