Archive for February, 2011

Feb 28th 2011

Doc Faces Former Mates in Phillies Win

AUTHOR: | IN: Game Recap | COMMENTS: 1 Comment

You know damn well that the if Maples Leafs played in a similarly named stadium, Canadians would get as cranked up as Canadians are capable of.

Feb 28th 2011

Chase Utley Swears Injury Is Not an Injury

AUTHOR: | IN: PHI Phillies | COMMENTS: None Yet

Baby elephants can stomp fully grown lions to death.

Feb 27th 2011

Jayson Werth Creates Huge Deal by Saying Thing

AUTHOR: | IN: PHI Phillies | COMMENTS: None Yet

Don’t blame me when we’re lying at the bottom of a Burmese Tiger Pit, impaled through the knee by a spike carved out of a sapling, as Rizzo and Werth stand over us chortling and smoking victory cigars.

Feb 27th 2011

Phanatic Makes Spring Debut

AUTHOR: | IN: Game Recap | COMMENTS: 1 Comment

The Phillie Phanatic, the preeminent mascot in major league baseball (go screw Mr. Met) made his debut at Bright House Field this afternoon.

Feb 27th 2011

Somebody Finally Invites Chad Durbin to Spring Training

AUTHOR: | IN: PHI Phillies | COMMENTS: None Yet

Durbin’s a concrete addition to any relief corps, but in this case, even he could be deemed superfluous. And not just because I wanted to use that word.

Feb 27th 2011

Mike Rizzo Not Wild About Handing Mike Morse Over to Phillies

AUTHOR: | IN: PHI Phillies | COMMENTS: None Yet

Mike Rizzo comically demanded Domonic Brown in return, probably on a crumpled piece of notebook paper with a bunch of frowny faces scrawled on it.

Feb 26th 2011

Colon Eats Pie, Opposes Hamels in Grapefruit Opener

AUTHOR: | IN: Game Recap | COMMENTS: 1 Comment

Colon made the grapefruit league start for the Yanks, going two innings, managing not to pass out, and giving up one earned run, two hits and one walk.

Feb 26th 2011

Chase Utley Making it Hard to Believe He’s Totally Fine

AUTHOR: | IN: PHI Phillies | COMMENTS: 1 Comment

It’ll just be me, shouting updates on my malfunctioning nervous system at my downstairs neighbor.

Feb 25th 2011

TBOH to Public: “Hold Onto Your Butts”

AUTHOR: | IN: PHI Phillies | COMMENTS: None Yet

Yes, adoring public, this is a blog post about other blog posts that don’t exist yet, but like the 2011 Phillies, that doesn’t mean you can’t get prematurely excited over it and assume the best.

Feb 25th 2011

Scott Mathieson to Once Again be Feel Good Story of the Spring

AUTHOR: | IN: PHI Phillies | COMMENTS: None Yet

No, the much more sound reasoning is to tear this room apart with my bare hands, throwing bookshelves to the floor and hurling my laptop through into the dishwasher, then running it on “pots and pans” just to waste water and energy.

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