Archive for January, 2011

He’s been described as a “flamethrower,” by me, just now.

This is what you’re missing football for.

There’s a reason it sounds like everybody hates Carlos Ruiz.  His name and nickname have the “-ue” sound in them, and in the Citizens Bank Park official rule doctrine, the signature cheer for each of his successes and/or announcements including his name must sound like “BOOOOOOOO!!” But it’s a congratulatory hullabaloo becoming more and more common over the past few years.  Finally, other people are starting to notice the noise. [Furious G]

By now, it should be clear that the Phillies have no problem turning their farm system against itself.

But I haven’t been to enough Alaska to realize that there are people living there. Like, yearbook-looking people, not harpoon-toting dogsledders; their parkas splashed with penguin blood.

Turns out I’ve been chasing my neighbors back into their houses after curfew with a broken, jagged broom handle for no reason at all.

Not too many five-year-olds have parents leaking their child’s inadequacies to the press.

This week, we pluck from the shelves another piece of Phil-Literature, most commonly seen on the display table at the Rittenhouse Barnes and Noble. The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly: Heart-Pounding, Jaw-Dropping, and Gut-Wrenching Moments from Philadelphia Phillies History by Todd Zolecki You’d have to be in a pretty ugly state of denial if you didn’t know the Phillies were, for a period, rotting in the basement of th standings.  You’d have to suffer through several devastating blows to the head to forget that the period in question lasted for many of the years in their history.  And you’d [...]

Naturally, let’s start with the drugs.

Say hello to Mark Parent, your 2011 manager of the Reading Phillies. His ability to manage winning ball clubs is matched only by his ability to hit never even close to .300.