So if you read this article at all, you’re going to hear the phrase “local” gem about three times in two paragraphs. Why? Because Phillies president David Montgomery sparkles that majestically when he speaks.
David talked at Springfield Township High School, explaining his role with the Phillies, how much they kick ass, and exactly what percentage of his week is spent presiding over awesome baseball teams (It’s higher than you’d think!) It was so nice, we may even forgive him for being a truffle-munching UPenn grad. HOW CAN YOU UPENN PEOPLE HAVE WHITE PICKETT FENCES IN FRONT OF YOUR FRAT HOUSES?! WHY CAN’T YOU HAVE SOMETHING NORMAL OUR FRONT, LIKE A CIRCLE OF PUKING FRESHMEN, OR A DRUG DEAL ABOUT TO GO BAD?!
Temple University: Pure Philadelphia.
Anyways, we have no real qualms with David, as he went on to speak about being the bridge between the players and the fans. Which is a nice thought, granted, but every time I’ve tried to scamper across that bridge with my lovingly crafter Shane Victorino poster board with way too much glitter, I’m stopped by security. So if there’s a bridge, maybe consider letting a few more of us true fans across, okay David? Thanks.
But then he did credit the fans for helping get Cliff Lee back, to which we said, “You’re welcome,” in a big, weird, collective, response that was somehow totally unrehearsed.
Lastly, he addressed one more important factor: Where are the kids? No, there were no lost children at the particular public speaking venue. What David was talking about was the fairly obvious notion that the Phillies’ youthful lineup is made up of people who aren’t youth. It’s not a disgraceful aspect of the team, but a young’n or two dotting the horizon would slow down the question marks. Fortunately, David swears such talent is two or three years down the road.
So there you have it. The Phillies are currently solving all of those problems you have with them, I use too much glitter in arts and crafts, and Temple kids know how to party. What else did you plan on learning on a Saturday?