Craig Calceterra is upset because he read on Facebook this morning that some Phillies fan said “37 days until aces and catchers report!”
Boy, that really cheesed him off, and he rushed to his keyboard to write a thing.
“I mean, I appreciate how excited Phillies fans are about 2011, but you’d think that they’d wait for something good to actually happen on a baseball field before they start crowing.”
Hear that, guys? Cool it. Oh, I’m sorry; not you, excited fans of every other team. Go ahead and be extra-ready for baseball season to start. Hell, even express that enthusiasm on Facebook! But not you, Phillies fans. You stifle that shit.
Is the “ace” label not the one everyone’s been using to describe Roy Halladay, Cliff Lee, Roy Oswalt, and Cole Hamels? I get sideways looks sometimes for Cole. But when you say some Phillies fan has done something enraging or even irritating, make it worth our time to read. We’ve set the bar pretty high (or low) in that regard.
When I originally read the headline, I expected somebody had let loose with a despicable Facebook rant, laced with profanity that could set a church on fire. Instead we get a casually enthused sentence you could find written in grandma’s handwriting on the inside of a greeting card (assuming she’s a Phils fan).
I don’t need to list the horrendously poor decisions made in Citizens Bank Park last year. Was this just the offseason reminder that everyone should keep hating Phillies fans, despite not having a particularly current reason to? I mean, just wait a few months, Craig. Then one of us will really do something awful for you to complain about.
Until then… I don’t know. Maybe don’t spend as much time on Facebook? I don’t know what to tell you.