That’s right, our very own Shane Victorino has been awarded the “Humanitarian of the Year” Award by the Philadelphia Sportswriter Association, which many would argue is way better than a third National League pennant in a row (they would be wrong).Sadly, they’re making him go to New Jersey to get it.
So by now you’re wondering, “Just who the hell does this Hawaiian think he is, and how did he gain the ability to ‘fly’ without some sort of comic book-inspired industrial accident?!?!”
Shane started the Shane Victorino Foundation, held a golf outing in Maui for local Little League Baseball teams, gave $900,000 to the Boys and Girls Club in Philly, and dropped a run-scoring fly ball in the NLCS on his way to a Gold Glove for some reason. Also, this:
“Shane was also honored recently with the Phillies’ Roberto Clemente Award, the 2010 Phillies Charities Community Service Award and named the prestigious Union League’s Sportsman of the Year. Previously, he was honored with the 2009 Phi Delta Theta International Lou Gehrig Memorial Award given annually to the MLB player who best exemplifies the giving character of Hall of Famer Lou Gehrig. Shane is also a member of the Philadelphia Action Team, a national young volunteer initiative by the MLB Trust and Volunteers of America and is featured in a national ad campaign promoting volunteerism.”
–Phillies Press Release
So I’m sure you will all join me as I say, for the love of god, Shane, slow down for a second, because you’re making the rest of us look like ignorant dipshits. Which we’re so not.