Cole Hamels Waiting by Phone for Phillies’ Extension

"“My philosophy has always been the best position to take is one of concentrating on completing the existing contract with the club.”–Cole Hamels’ agent, John Boggs, as Scott Boras roared with uncontrollable laughter"

“Hey, there’s still plenty of time,” you’re saying.  “We don’t have to make an offer to Cole until the end of the coming season, so let’s just do what we did with Jayson and bury this problem under a stack of glorious assumptions for the season.  Okay?  Great.”

If we have to look that far ahead to find something to worry about, (EDITOR’S NOTE: I THOUGHT WE AGREED TO BURY IT) then I’d say we’re doing just fine.  But we don’t.  We can talk about whatever terrifying things you want, and then run and hide under the safety blanket of the rotation.  That’s sort of its main feature in the off season: providing a protective bubble from all the other issues that totally exist.

Cole’s contract touches a bit more uncomfortably, however, because the idea of possibly losing him has to do with our precious, precious rotation being picked apart.  We would have a thinner shield to deflect things like “wilting offensive prowess,” “aging core,” or “zero money.”

The good news is, Cole, so far, hasn’t gone out and hired a contract killer to represent him during any proceedings.  A guy like John Boggs, who I’ve never heard of but appears to just want everybody to be friends, is far less threatening than, say, our All-Star right handed power hitting right fielder deciding to bro-grab with Scott Boras just before contractual negotiations started.  Hiring Boras is never really an indication that someone is going to be satisfied with less (Though signing with the Nationals seems like its exactly that) (EDITOR’S NOTE: Thank you, I’ll be here all week)

The recipe to turn this into a problem hasn’t arrived yet, and neither has the moment of truth.  So what the hell are we talking about?  I don’t know, ask Matt Gelb.