Archive for January, 2011

Roommate sighed, eying the 3/4 empty whiskey bottle at my feet.

We haven’t spoken about the NLCS in a while, and I’m sure you’ve assumed that means one of two things. I have picked up and moved on.  We are closer to the next season than the previous one, so why not let all the negative emotions of 2010 fade away as we raise our hopes for the upcoming year. I have buried the memories of the event under a thick layer of denial and what doctors have described as “psychological homicide.”  It is continuously labeled a temporary solution and appears to be only a matter of time before the blanket [...]

In my case, practicing led to missing a lot of pitches from my crying sister, getting bored after five minutes, and staying inside the rest of the day playing Rogue Squadron.

Look! Look at Citi Field, all covered with snow. Ha, ha. YOU LOOK RIDICULOUS, CITI FIELD.

Madness. Madness reigns in Pottsown.

He has a fall back plan: video phones.

HOW CAN YOU UPENN PEOPLE HAVE WHITE PICKETT FENCES IN FRONT OF YOUR FRAT HOUSES?! WHY CAN’T YOU HAVE SOMETHING NORMAL OUR FRONT, LIKE A CIRCLE OF PUKING FRESHMEN, OR A DRUG DEAL ABOUT TO GO BAD?

If “CEO of the Texas Rangers” isn’t a job that requires a 10 gallon hat, than what the hell is?

THIS IS THE MAN JUDGING OUR PROSPECTS. LET US TURN THE POINTED INDEX FINGER OF JUDGEMENT BACK AT HIM.

He’s been verbally abused by Richie Ashburn so many times I couldn’t stop laughing through the whole first chapter.