Sports Illustrated Gives Phillies Gold Star for Off Season

Can you “win” the off season?  Well, too bad, because we’re going to.

If Sports Illustrated selects you as a winner, you don’t say, “Hey, that’s not really for you to decide, also its more of an opinion than anything else.”  You say, “Fucking right,” and kick the nearest Mets fan in the skull.

SI’s Jon Heyman took a break from having his personality stolen to let everyone know that the Phillies are one of the off season’s “winners,” thanks to their acquisition of Cliff Lee.

"“How good is their starting pitching? Well, it’s good enough that it has to be compared to the alltime greatest pitching staffs. ‘They could trade Cole Hamels, and they’d still have three of the best starters in baseball,’ one NL scout remarks.”"

But the rest of our rotation wasn’t one of our off season moves, so that really shouldn’t count.  And that’s coming from me, a guy who is not afraid to use any excuse to win (I once purposely  picked my nose until it bled just to get sympathy from a crew of spelling bee judges).

"“… if they hit only a little, they have to be the World Series favorite, based on their starting pitching alone.”"

Nothing says “World Series winners” like “hitting a little.”

Didn’t Cliff want to come here?  Wasn’t that the whole… thing?  Other than that, we lost Werth and gained/lost Dennys Reyes.  Then there were a couple of minor league signings.  All in all, I would classify this as a “tearjerking while surprisingly legendary” off season.