Temple University Concludes Phillies Fans Can and Can’t Afford Things

Temple’s doing a lot of things these days; losing their head football coach to a better program, hosting Cirque de Soleil, and conducting endless surveys to find out the opinions of Philadelphia sports fans.  Did you know that no one is not confident in Doug Collins?  It’s true.

Now, before you say, “Hey, I’m not confident in Doug Collins because of some good reasons I have,” allow me to slap you in the mouth and force you to look at these findings of the Temple Sport Industry Research Center which say that you and your thoughts are wrong.

That’s my alma mater!  Always ahead of the… or at least within seeing distance of… the curve.

And now, the group has turned their sites on the Phillies and their fans.  Well, we’ve got thoughts, so if somebody from Temple wants to call me and ask for them, I’ll gladly shout them through a phone.

But Temple does more than measure abstract concepts like “confidence.”  They also try to pin a number on a gamut of human emotion, and in one instance, it was the emotions attached to rising Phillies ticket prices.

"“Sixteen percent were ‘surprised.’ Fifteen percent said they were ‘worth the extra money,’ 13 percent were ‘disappointed,’ 3 percent were “angry” and 1 percent were ‘not sure.'”—Philly Inquirer"

First off, everyone is angry about it.  You just force it down because of the promise of dominance.  So I would say “three percent” covers the angry people who are permanently outward with their anger.  Days from now, they will be incarcerated or dead.

Then this guy steps out the Phillies marketing team’s dreams and into their lives when he went all:

"“I will support the Phillies before any team in town.”—Some Guy"

Then, the normal, poor people stepped in and got all defensive.

"“The beer is cheaper at home.”–Some Other Guy"

In short, there are Phillies fans all over the poverty line.  Who will point them out to us?  Temple University.  Why is this valuable information?  Jokes on you, pal.  Never said it was.