Some Pointless Complication to the Very Simple News

Here’s what we know.
  • Jayson Werth is great.
  • Jayson Werth is probably going to leave.
  • The phrase “testing the waters.”
  • He will probably go to the Red Sox, Angels, or Tigers
  • The word “tender.”
  • The Phillies will need a right fielder if this happens.
  • Domonic Brown and Ben Francisco are Phillies outfielders.
  • Their “roles” will “increase.”
  • The word “platoon.”

So because this blog is constantly revolutionizing the way people internet about things, let me tell you some news with the help of my old friend,

Phillies [puissant] outfielder Jayson Werth is [dollars to doughnuts] going to [quitclaim] them for [Panthera Tigris, crimson hosiery, or the attendants of God] after [chewing over] the [status quo] of free agency.  Because of this, Ben Francisco has been [bestowed] a contract by the team, as his [province] will [thicken], probably into a [cavalcade] with [Zephyrhills, FL's greatest son]

Topics: Ben Francisco, Domonic Brown, Off Season, Phillies, Thesaurus, Words

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