Divisional Recourse: The Digestion of Change
By Justin Klugh
When the Phillies aren’t doing much, and the manic stampedes of Red Friday approaching, it’s time to turn our focus to their enemies. That or Christmas shopping, but do people really still do that?
Mets
The Mets hired a new zookeeper, and his name is Terry Collins. Anyone with minor concerns about them bringing in a dead ringer to “Showalter” the squad into an epic comeback of cinematic proportions can relax. Collins has coached winners in MLB and foreign lands, so he must have the recipe for champions committed to memory.
But Deadspin makes an interesting point: He doesn’t.
Even the Kranepool Society is willing to concede that the 2011 playoffs will not include the Mets. It’s not so much that he’s a bad coach. It’s that he seems to conjure up all this hatred for himself in his locker rooms. There’s a guy who can unite his team in their conjoined frustration/digust with their leader, and then there are guys who do it but don’t realize they’re doing it because they’re actually hateable people.
Marlins
Florida’s still eyeing up this Uggla deal, wondering if it really happened, and hoping it can be rectified. Michael Jong begrudgingly took a look at Mike Dunn after remembering that he was even included in the deal (I mean, how do you get past the wonder and awe of acquiring Omar Infante? Please tell me, so that I might succeed in doing so).
The conclusion? The Marlins should have gotten a starter, but were squealing with glee and pointing at Mike Dunn in particular, so, there you go. As usual, you can make all the predictions, brain farts, and death threats about a reliever all you want, but their predictability can bounce around so feverishly, why even bother?
"“Dunn could flame out this year and next and never see the light of day in the majors again. Or he could magically figure everything out and become a left-handed Jonathan Broxton.”–Michael Jong, Marlin Maniac"
Ohpleaseohpleaseohpleaseohplease.
Braves
The recipients of 205 lbs. of fresh Uggla are on the more positive end of their deal, says me and most people involved. Leather Jacket Guy is reporting that Chipper Jones is up and moving around, which is terrible news. If there’s one thing that will end a Phillie-killing career, its proposed retirement. And if there’s anything that can solidify that breached topic of retirement, its the sound of an ACL being ripped in half.
The Braves are also digesting some of the Marlins leftovers in the form of Fredi Gonzalez, whose managerial duties so far have included falling to his knees in celebration of joining the free agency “buyers market,” rather than the deafening SELL SELL SELL OH GOD WHERE IS THE MONEY echoing out of Miami.
Yet in the midst of all the personnel changes, one can retreat to a sun drenched meadow and take in some of Braves Love‘s epic love letters to Braves players and just let the day melt away.
"Dear Scott,Your first day with the Braves, you came out in BP with an extra pair of shoes, put them down in front of you, and when BP was over, you took them back off the field with you. I’d really like to know why they came out in the first place, but it’s probably none of my business. 🙂Love,Lauren"
Nationals
In Washington Nationals news, Bryce Harper is back to smearing shit all over his face. Also, Jason Marquis is apparently in the “Joe Morgan” camp when it comes to measuring a pitcher’s value, which is a terrible, brainless, blithering camp in regards to any issue.
Capitol Punishment is an awesome blog and did a great job breaking down the Nationals’ minor league free agents into four important categories.
The Phillies-Nationals rivalry was plucked once more as Ryan Zimmerman rocked the nation with a 16th place finish in NL MVP votes–just one spot ahead of Carlos Ruiz. Sure, Zimmerman is a staunch defender and .300 hitter, but Chooch likes ice cream.
At this point in history, it’s not even worth it to try and cook up a steaming Phils-Nats hatred. Have you ever gone to cook something and suddenly realized you had none of the ingredients? And then just fallen asleep in front of the TV?