Bronson Arroyo Brings Experience, Love of ‘Staind’ to Game 2 Start

"“The only way for Oswalt to top Halladay is to throw a perfect game.”—Kansas City Star"

OOOOooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooOOOOOoooooooooh!

Here’s the last ever thing that we should be doing in Game 2: Trying to make it Game 1.  There will be plenty of bandwagoneers in fresh-brimmed Phillies caps tomorrow, expecting a freakishly well-pitched game.

As soon as the Reds smack their first hit of the game, how long do you think it will be before Twitter implodes under the weight of all the “WELL THERE GOES THE PERFECT GAME LOL #PHILLIES #DOCTOBER #WHATISAPERFECTGAME.”

Roy’s 23-3 against the Reds lifetime, accompanied by a 2.81 ERA and a .242 opponents’ batting average.  Which is even better than I thought, actually.

He says he feels like he is “standing next to the hitter” when he is pitching in Citizens Bank Park, which must mean something only understood only by pitchers who have transcended to some level where all they hear on the mound is angels singing.

But like I said.  It is a mistake to think these Reds are ready to crawl out from under the 5:07 Halladay Express and finish dying.  As much as we’d like to stand around and polish Oswalt’s nob, against the Reds in ’10 he’s been 0-2 with an ERA ready to kiss 7 on the lips.  I know its easy to be distracted when you’re sailing in the bloody, entrail-rich wake of a disemboweling no-hitter, but the Reds are the best hitting team in the NL.

Don’t worry, I was laughing sarcastically as I wrote that.  But the point is valid.  There’s enough overconfidence floating around that it would morph into a weakness given a window of allowable size.

Even objective, journalistic parties have been sucked into the trendiness of how much of a steamroller the Phils seem to be, so perhaps its the foreign nature of the support, but it doesn’t seem quite fair to be deciding this series based on one history-altering victory.

Hmm.  I’m now discovering why it’s so easy to get swept up in the swagger; because playing the “Hold on, everybody, I just think we should consider the blah blah blah blah blah” guy can feel like poking holes in the roof when it’s not raining.  It proves the the weather’s fine, but when it does rain, well, all it does it prove you know how to get wet.

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Bronson Arroyo throws sinkers!  And curveballs.  We should be fine as long as Ryan Howard doesn’t have to bat.  Arroyo is shaped by his ability to remain unrattled, which may be the perfect starting pitcher for the–

"“When his teammates hear Staind playing in the weight room, they know that Arroyo is working out.”—The Sporting News"

There is so much douche lodged in that description I can barely breathe.

"“That’s why we set our rotation the way we did.  You know Bronson’s been here before.”–Dusty Baker"

Yes.  Thus far in this series, “playoff experience” has probably been the most important factor.

And then there’s Laynce Nix!  If you don’t know who Nix is, then you probably are not a Reds fan.  The important thing is that he is 9-for-17 against Oswalt lifetime.  Needless to say, he will be starting.

So you see?  As long as Bronson Arroyo isn’t jarred by the ‘brutality’ of Phillies fans and gets to rock out to his ultra-cool music that was considered kind of popular when I was in junior high, he could really dominate.