Archive for September, 2010

Watching Big Joe wheel and deal when he manages to is like rolling a bowling ball through a high school marching band that isn’t very goo

Sound the victory horn! Prepare the feast! Ready the virgins! This will be a banquet long remembered in the annals of our history! Unless, you know. The Braves, a very good baseball team, win their very next game.

And then, there are some people who just like to make sure you know they have taken up with the snarling revolutionaries.

The game has pretty much started already.

I didn’t want to limit myself to mere Phillies stories, so while there’s a healthy smattering of them in there, somewhere, don’t hesitate to check out one of the other stories about abusing the elderly or horse penises.

Want to disgust a person? Tell them the final score of tonight’s game. Then tell them what it was going into the eighth inning.

*We need a hero,* thought everyone, except for, again, Dubee, who was for some reason thinking only about steak knives.

One more shade of luck and squirt of offense and we’ll be clear of this “second place” mess that’s been haunting us for, you know, pretty much the entire season.

People like me may expect/demand to win every game, but when that fifth slot in the rotation rolls ’round, even my hilariously biased expectations of baseball collapse.

So many times he has fallen in a 1-0 Waterloo, it has become questionable as to the motives of those who provide such sour support.