In 1996, a pharmaceutical company called Pfizer Inc. heard about a relentless wave of cholera, measles, and bacterial meningitis tearing through Nigeria. Company reps hopped a plane, their suitcases overflowing with an experimental drug called trovafloxacin and began administering their product all over the place.
And it killed 50 children, only grazing others, leaving them with mere physical deformities. Pfizer went on to deny that more than 11 casualties even occurred. They noticed a third world country in the horrifying grips of an epidemic without the resources to stop it, and saw the perfect opportunity for personal gain.
An ocean and a standard of living away, in a town that could be called the polar opposite of “war torn Nigeria,” it is 2010, and Pfizer owns a flattened, grass-stained square of land near a quiet intersection. West Chester, PA could be home to a fresh petri dish of Phillies prospects in a $40 million Single-A stadium in the near future, if Pfizer would be kind enough to let go of their property. The Phils will gain a new affiliate. Nigera will still be in pretty rough shape.
And Pfizer, well. Pfizer will be just fine.
Phillies 5, Braves 3
“The rest of the National League should be (shooting) its pants.”
–Ed Price, MLB Fanhouse
The Phillies won their ninth straight, and their 43rd of 58… putting Roy Halladay amongst the historic annals of 20-game winners, putting the Phillies one-one hundredth of a percentage point away from being a .600 team (flirting with the best teams in all of baseball), and putting Brad Lidge’s sinister slider past anyone self-loathing enough to stand in the batter’s box.
So maybe it isn’t the National League in its entirety that is (shooting) every which way. I can’t imagine the Cubs saw tonight’s Phils-Braves score and immediately flooded their locker room with human feces.
No, but you might be closer if you assumed the Atlanta Braves were having a tough time with things (See how I got my point across without resorting to poop jokes, Ed Price? Some of us have a little maturity).
Five games up, it becomes about who is going to feel what more: Our excitement or their despair? Nobody wants to get ahead of themselves, and everybody has excuses, and there are plenty of games left to play. So while other writers might be out there, sucking down smiles and frolicking in premature diddly-dee, here at TBOH, we are once again taking the high road.
And oh, my, the high road is leading directly into this whiskey bottle.
I’ve been cruising Braves blogs for a few days now, and while they do manage to keep the faith and give credit where credits due, when they start wondering aloud about the integrity and motives of those of us with questionable integrity and motives, I feel the need to defend myself stand in their way.
Look, we didn’t ask Shane Victorino to sniper Brian McCann’s greedy nature at third. We didn’t ask H2O to go 13-0 in their last 13 starts. And we certainly didn’t ask Wilson Valdez to what-the-hell his way into a starting spot and more than own it on both sides of the ball. We really didn’t.
We just want to walk into the park, get handed our complimentary dish towels painted by minimum wagers, and go through with highly discourteous judgement calls, to the point that the Philadelphia District Attorney calls us idiots.
We didn’t ask for any of this.
But we certainly were thinking it loudly.
Hey! Things could be worse! Much, much hellishly worse.