Nate Robertson Fails to Ruin Otherwise Enjoyable Game

Phils win!  Let’s head on over to Phillies.com to see the much longer highlights than they have on ESPN.com.  Oh, look, it’s Zolecki’s recap.  Let’s dig in.

“Hamels and a suddenly potent offense made sure the Phillies would hold onto first place in the division — although the six runs Nate Robertson allowed in the eighth inning made the game unnecessarily close — which they claimed Tuesday for the first time since May 30.”

Ha ha, party.  All right, now let’s just get to the video corn–wait, what?

“Hamels and a suddenly potent offense made sure the Phillies would hold onto first place in the division — although the six runs Nate Robertson allowed in the eighth inning made the game unnecessarily close — which they claimed Tuesday for the first time since May 30.”

/facepalm

Phillies 10, Marlins 6

Hey, I want to hunch over this laptop and gush over Cole Hamels 25 innings of scoreless baseball, too.  That is so close to three consecutive ballgames without allowing any opposing players to touch home plate.  That is so not how I would have assumed in 2009 how we’d be talking about Cole in 2010.  That is so… so… 25 innings, dude! That is totally stone-cold-deathly-silent-testicle-checking baseball.

We break here so that I may dance around my laptop like a spritely wood nymph.

But let’s take a trip back, however, to a time when things weren’t as first place-ish, and Nate Robertson was a brand new Phillie, not the 2 game-old Triple-A call-up he is today, getting bashed in all of the really popular Phillies blogs written by handsome rogues [EDITOR'S NOTE: Nope].

September 5 was a different time.  The Phillies were in second place in the NL East.  Deluded assholes continued to exist whilst the rest of us continued to note how much they suck. Nate Robertson was just “That guy who led the AL in earned runs in 2008,” not “also that guy who went through four different clubs before the Phillies signed him and then called him up just to get torched for six runs in one running (I just realized I wrote ‘running’ when I meant ‘inning,’ but he allowed so many runs  they may as well change the terminology).”

And Nate Robertson was joining a Phillies squad preparing to make their late season blood curdling charge, and was just happy to be aboard.  Let’s see what he had to say for himself.

“I just want to help.”  –Nate Robertson

FAIL.  You so fail, Nate Robertson.

Want to disgust a person?  Tell them the final score of tonight’s game (10-6).  Then tell them what it was going into the eighth inning (10-0, courtesy of Ryan Howard and his 6 RBI–in the passionate throes of yet another luscious September).  And then tell them that the pretty noticeable six-run difference they are currently vomiting about was all due to the efforts of one man, not the tag-team bullpen shit-show that one can usually point to when deciphering a late inning salvo of opposing runs.

And that man was Nate Robertson.

Welp.

FAIL.

“Both Chad Durbin and Placido Polanco played with Robertson in Detroit, and Robertson wasn’t soon going to forget that period of time in his baseball life.

‘There he is now,’ said Robertson, as Polanco entered the Phillies’ clubhouse and exchanged an embrace with the infielder. ‘This is the best teammate in the world.’”  –Mike Radano, Phillies.com

And then he insinuates that Chad Durbin isn’t the best teammate in the world!  WTF?!?

All this fuming; you wouldn’t even think the Phillies won the game tonight.  I guess its a matter of my putting aside of self delusion tonight.  Do teams who get far in the playoffs really have at least one thing go wrong a game?  Yeah, these Phils “always find a way to win,” but they don’t.  It just seems like they do because tonight they did.  We’re 81-60.  There were 60 times when things went so wrong we couldn’t correct ourselves.

And that’s what really vinegars my baking soda.  Why do we have to wait for the next thing to go wrong?  Am I expecting too much if I demand a well-executed game in one out of there 5-7 games?  We won tonight, despite a 6-run implosion.  We won yesterday, despite a balk, throwing error, and wild pitch all in the same inning, all of which cost us.

The shift from potent offense to strategic small ball is excellent, and proves this is a team of survivalists, but jesus god. Whether its the bullpen, or stupid, poorly timed errors, or a sporadically vacant offense, everybody makes mistakes, but not everybody makes a giant, irreversibly incompetent mistake in every two and half hour chunk of their lives.

Anyways.

25 effing innings. Sheeeit.

… and then I woke up and TBOH was on Twitter.  It was awkward.

Images courtesy of Cadillac Time and FoxSports

Topics: Cole Hamels, Fail, Marlins, Nate Robertson, NL East, Phillies, Ryan Howard

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