Let’s All Get Real Pissed About the Roy Oswalt Deal

“Literally” is a such a fantastic word.  I’ll assume we all know what it means so that I don’t have to patronize people with dictionary definitions (“Patronize,” of course, meaning to talk to people as if they’re idiots.)

To say the Phillies are “literally” sacrificing the possibly brilliant future of J.A. Happ, Vance Worley, and/or other(s) is impossible.  We can’t no anything “literally” because we’re talking about the future.  The best idea here is, if indeed this trade goes down, to delve into “Cliff Lee-trade” mode, where we just go numb and accept that a superior arm is calling Philly home, while yes, what we’re sending away could have been pretty important, too.

That’s what I’ll be doing, anyway.

Roy Oswalt, not officially a Philadelphia Phillie, is already receiving the welcome customary for those who are new in town, but are lukewarm about being here.

Aside from the chopped prospects, what else is there to dread?  Did we give up our chance at Cliff Lee in the offseason, inadvertently sending him to the Yankees?  Uh, yeah.  Probably.

But here’s the thing, and there’s really no getting around this:  You can’t win a bidding war against the Yankees.  Sure, Philly may have bee the choice in his heart, but New York’s the choice of his wallet, and in the end, the Yankees, as we all know, devour human hearts and puke on human souls.  Cliff will look atrocious in Yankee pinstripes, but he is a casualty of the largest mistake in recent Phillies history.

Key word being “history.”  Can’t escape it now.

So we hemorrhage the future to snag another ace for the rotation.  It’s not the worst thing in the world.  It certainly doesn’t deserve to be lambasted to all hell.  Frankly, I think its incredible we have any prospects to hand over at this point, and now our rotation houses three legitimate aces.  Yeah, Oswalt’s injury prone and may not gel with the abrasive fanbase.

Well.  To distract you from any trade hangovers, here’s an article about how Jim Bunning thinks Stephen Strasburg is a total pansy.

Thanks for offering more perspective, Jimmy.  You so crazy.  Literally.