The undoing of Brad Lidge happens in a cycle, and tonight, we witnessed the precious ecosystem that is Lidge’s serious ball-dropping of games in the ninth. For your pleasure, we have included the evolution of the process.
A BRAD LIDGE BLOWN SAVE TOLD VIA TWITTER
1. First, we are calm. Phils are up 6-3, bottom nine. The day’s humidity is gone. Work is not until tomorrow. You successfully locked your Roommate out on the patio (finally!) Everything’s cool.
2. When it is revealed that Brad Lidge will be our closer for the final inning. We are hopeful.
3. With two outs and no one on, suddenly gives up a tragic three run home run to tie the game. A desolate silence rolls over the audience.
4. Zolecki tells us what’s up...
5. … and the inevitable first stone is thrown…
6. … and then I try to join in on the fun but just come across as confused.
Phillies 9, Reds 6
There was a guy who walked into the Verizon store today with suspenders. He yelled at an employee from across the store if Tech Support was down the stairs. They said yes, it was.
“Well, you might want to indicate that,” he said calmly, while adding an out of place “FUCK!” as he went down the stairs.
That sort of reminded me of my attitude with the Phillies. Even when I get what I want I still wind up screaming profanities in a phone store.
If you saw the aforementioned home run off Lidge, your soul no doubt suffered the resounding hiccup and casually filled your mouth with blood, as mine often does. But this is such an echoing recurrence that we’ve become numb to it, except for the bloody mouth thing (UPDATE: I’m being told this isn’t normal? Should I go to a doctor?)
But honestly, if you’ve got the stomach to watch what happened to Joel Zumaya (“IT FELT LIKE MY ELBOW EXPLODED”) then you can sit through a Brad Lidge outing without utilizing your Phillies free giveaway vomit bag.
Especially when the experiment ends somehow successfully, like tonight. Joe Blanton, a guy who fell victim many times to the Phillies inability to provide run support, actually left with the game perfectly intact. Lidge, allowing the game to be tied, took that away from Blanton. Now, in one of those twisty, illogical ways that baseball pokes you in the brain, Lidge gets the W for the evening.
In the end, the team won, but…”FUCK!”
One night ago, if you had bothered to tune into Sports Blog Talk with Vito Chirco, you’d have heard me blabber on about the Phillies’ need for a hot bat to spring off the bench.
Brian Schneider went 3-for-4 with a HR and Wilson Valdez went 2-for-4 with a HR and 4 RBI. Greg Dobbs considered getting a drink of water in the middle of the 5th inning, but then didn’t.
“I don’t sleep when we lose.” -Wilson Valdez
I… oh. Well then I guess… you must be… exhausted?
Okay, so the bench has been performing and the slump seems to have given Wilson Valdez insomnia. Maybe some stone cold offensive back up isn’t as pulsatingly needed as I figured. Maybe the Phillies should be looking for…
“Heard this: The Phillies’ pre-trade deadline priority is a middle-of-the-rotation starter, probably someone higher in caliber than a Guthrie.” -Buster Olney via Twitter
…middle of the rotation starter–oh WOW! That’s exactly what I was just saying. Ha, ha. Weird. Ha.
Yeah. Let’s get a starting pitcher, with the weirdly specific stipulation that it not be Jeremy Guthrie. Absolutely. I mean, why not?
If the Phillies really plan to put a new starter in the crosshair, can we really expect as good a return as Cliff Lee or Roy Oswalt situation? Look, I don’t know a ton about money, and even less about business, and probably a bit less about medical issues. But I do know that you need to have money in order to give it to someone otherwise they will not play baseball for you.
So, for Ruben Amaro’s “low risk, high reward” strategy to work here, there needs to be a low risk out there somewhere. BUT FOR THE LOVE OF GOD NOT JEREMY GUTHRIE.
Tonight’s game was defined by the resilience of a resurrected offense, the recovery of a cheese-like bullpen, and the production of bench players who until recently weren’t putting up acceptable numbers. It was also defined by uncomfortable touching.
Did Charlie bump umpire CB Bucknor’s hat during their heated exchange, leading to his ejection?
“I don’t know.” -Charlie Manuel
Wow! Can’t make this shit up.