Archive for May, 2010

My experience with Cole’s patented *bad inning* is that it always happens when I look away, like leaving a curious child with the bathroom cleaner

Like my dad always said, there’s no deterrent like a vicious beating.

This is what happens when an unstoppable force meets a completely movable object.

When Charlie hustled out to the mound faster than any of us knew he could move, Doc was disgusted.

*He got the ball and threw it,* Charlie Manuel stated in a lackluster description of a baseball game.

Everybody just sort of sat there and watched, like we were all collectively babysitting and just watched the child charged to our care fall down a flight of steps, walk back to the top of the staircase, and fall down again

In the third inning, Joe Blanton was called out for some reason that nobody knew and had Charlie Manuel screaming in the umpire’s face. Immediately following, six shirtless men ran onto the field and began to dance.

It’s dead cat season in Philadelphia, a time of year that, kind of like baseball, never really ends. But, also like baseball, it is at its most evident during the summer.

When you think about it, half of baseball IS just trying not to get eaten by sea gulls.