God, grandpa, you were so much more agreeable when you were in that irong lung clinging to life.

Game Called on Account of Colorado


Did you know they used to schedule double headers on purpose?

It’s true.  There was a time when playing two baseball games on the same day was business as usual.  There’s even been some tripleheaders along the history of baseball, which seem to, in a huge coincidence, also fall on the same day as massive waves of exhaustion-related deaths.

“In my day, we played double headers back to back,” old Grandpa used to say.  “We also filled the air with blood curdling screams when the other team was batting and torched entire Vietnamese villages between innings.”

Righteously, only a third of Grandpa’s traditions made it into the modern day, and none of the Phillies will be going on week long killing sprees in downtown Denver.  Although with the extra time on their hands tonight, who knows what Shane Victorino will come up with after being blue-balled by the weather out in Colorado.

With tomorrow’s games starting at 3:10 and 8:40–significantly further apart than the 20-30 minute breaks of previous generations–we will see Doc hit the bullseye through game one and the only unkillable man in baseball, Jamie Moyer, get the ball for round two.  Which means the bullpen gets a night off tonight and, with Doc starting tomorrow, will in all likelihood not be given much to do in the first game.

So, with the wet slap of precipitation abusing the likes of Denver, we’ll finish out the series tomorrow afternoon and evening.  In the mean times, distract yourself with this hilarious thing I did.  I mean, whatever.  They let me swear a lot. “Swearing” is the same thing as “funny,” right?!

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Tags: Colorado Grandpa Sucks Jamie Moyer Phillies Rained Out Roy Halladay