Kyle Kendrick Finally Acts Like Roy Halladay’s Workout Partner

You’ve got to wonder about Kyle Kendrick.

Back in Clearwater, was he stealing glances at Doc across the locker room?  Coincidentally pulling into the stadium at the same time?  Frantically researching The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints so he could jump start a conversation with the ace?

However he did it, Kyle Kendrick eventually became Roy Halladay’s workout partner and they lived happily ever after.  Until the regular season started, and Roy went on to make opposing offense obsolete, while Kyle watched his ERA take flight to levels that make Rich Dubee’s eyes fill with blood and another one of his neighborhood pets mysteriously disappear.

The young couple across the street just adopted an adorable cocker spaniel, and after last night, Chuckles can breathe a sigh of relief… for now.

Phillies 4, Cardinals 0

That made-up dog owes Kyle Kendrick his short little life.

In yet another key performance by a Phillies pitcher, Kendrick got himself an outing that jived with the statements Rich Dubee made about him during Spring Training.  Dubee had been impressed, announcing (unprovoked, I might add) that Kendrick’s maturity on the mound was a big step forward.

And then, Kyle took those words and used them to fuel himself to a 0-1 start and a 7.61 ERA.  Outstanding.

Yeah, I've got a note like this. Except its not from Kendrick, its from Shane Victorino, and it says "I know you've been following me. Stop."

Last night, he stuck his poopy stats in his back pocket and went out to the same mound that had seen stellar throwing from Joe Blanton, Cole Hamels, and Brad Lidge within the last 48 hours.  If he wanted to start producing, it seemed luck was on his side.  Why not?  It was apparently on everybody else’s.

“He got the ball and threw it,” Charlie Manuel stated, in a lackluster description of a baseball game.

The point was, Kendrick kept the ball low, had the Cardinals grounding the Cards like fresh cow meat, and actually went more than five innings.  Because to be honest, the less we see of this bullpen, the better.  I don’t care whose mother is in the stands.

“He hasn’t seen her in seven years,” Roommate informed me of Jose Contreras.

“So?  I haven’t seen Jimmy Rollins in like, two weeks,” I replied.  ”And he’s a way better short stop than Jose Contreras’ mother.”

“I don’t understand how that’s applicable.”

Unable to trick Roommate in an argument that was clearly orchestrated for me to win (unlike the god forsaken 2nd Base Chase), I turned to Twitter, and began to taunt Gery about his precious Cards and unlikely hero David Freese.  Debates are so much more fun when you’re 90% sure you’re going to win!

There’s been some magnanimous hurling in this series, made all the better by the fact that we’re playing against a team that is most likely going to be our toughest rivals in the NL.

So today, in like two hours, let’s all crowd behind Doc and try to make this series more about recovering from an early slide and less about the taserings of yestergame.

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  • http://redbirdrants.com Ryne Gery

    Haha. Not a Cards fan actually. Cubs are my team, just writing for the site because I want to get into sports writing.