Fans Blame Kendrick, Umpires for Awesome Phillies Victory

Today, we open with some words from Philadelphia District Attorney Seth Williams.

“And right now, there’s no certainty of punishment.  People just know that they’ll get away with things, most likely.”

Phillies 14, Nationals 7

Did nobody read what I said about booing yesterday?

I know, I know.  Of course not.  And actually, what I’m about to say is the exact opposite, so technically, it doesn’t even really matter.  I was explaining the philosophy of boos, namely, booing a guy on your own team.  I said Cole doesn’t deserved to be booed, and he still doesn’t.  Of course, he hasn’t pitched between now and yesterday, so… yeah.

It took Kyle Kendrick three batters to get “Le’s Go Flyers!” chants started in the 400 level last night.  By the fourth one, a collective smattering of jeers could be heard brewing behind home plate.

By the fifth, the “BOOOOO” sound of 40,000+ impatient, increasingly frigid Phillies fans hit the air like a wrecking ball.  No one was pretending to ignore what was happening on the field anymore.

“Joe West, you are incompetent and pathetic!” somebody yelled at the first base ump.

“Oh my god, he’s right!” screamed Joe West, somehow hearing these sentiments from somebody in the 400 level and running off the field in tears.

Yes, it was a text book example of leaning on the offense, heavily, to outrun the shitty pitching.  I’ll be the first to say a win’s a win, but in the long term–well, we don’t have to worry about that, because Joe Blanton’s going to come back eventually and he’s just going to be wonderful.

I can’t believe Kendrick only walked three people.  It felt like there was an endless line of Nationals running around the base path, dazed, and a little lost, like survivors of a plane crash meandering through the desert.  If Kendrick if forced to face a lineup even a little tougher than Washington’s, he will be eaten alive.  By Rich Dubee.  I assume.

Phillies-Nationals, 3:05, Citizens Bank Park

Well, enjoy these last two games against the Nationals, because the Phillies blow and will implode like a flock of geese flying into a jet engine once they play a team with the sack to give them a fight, said Sports Illustrated.  I’m paraphrasing, but, you know.  It’s what they said.

I know we’re all worried about Jimmy and all, but just settle the hell down.  And not because of numbers and history, because his recovery time isn’t incredibly drastic and with Ryan avoiding a cold start and Chase’s bat going from a harsh murmur to a violent, blood curdling scream, we can be okay, though the soft schedule hardens up a bit in a few days.

Happ Happ Happ Happ come on.  I want another starter in this rotation to feel better than good about.  I want to be able to watch hot, hot Doc finish a game out and know we haven’t just exhausted our supply of starters who can go more than five innings.  Happ could kick this lineup in the teeth, just like he did with the Astros in his last start.

Unfortunately for the Nats starter, lefty Scott Olsen, Ryan Howard (14-for-29), Raul Ibanez (5-for-8) and Jayson Werth (10-for-19) are all playing today, and have pretty successful previous campaigns against his pitching.  TBOH predicts Olsen to meet a similar fate of the character from Star Trek with the same name, and get incinerated.

Roommate told me he was in Madison Square Garden when they announced the Rangers’ loss to the Flyers that just happened to eliminate them from a playoff spot.  I hope nobody in there was following the Mets in 2007.  They probably went home and hung themselves.

And now, to close with some words from Philadelphia District Attorney Seth Williams:

“…it wasn’t just that the person was a slow antelope, it was that maybe they were a slow antelope that had also been destructive or violent.”