Brett Myers Not Just a Distant, Abrasive Memory to Charlie Manuel

The Daily Times referred to Brett Myers as “combustible,” which I wish was true, in the sense that he would explode occasionally.  And not, line, metaphorically with rage or emotion.

Myers, who was not re-signed by the Phils, claimed he was over it, then got to Houston and launched a sickening “poor, pitiful me” routine that would have grounded preteen girls everywhere cringing with embarrassment, and not just because tonight is Chet Gunderson’s Sweet 16 party.

Today, at Bright House Field against the Astros, Kyle Kendrick will have the pleasure of going head-to-head against Myers, the man responsible for a squad of reporters openly laughing in Kendrick’s face, with that whole “You’ve been traded to Japan” thing.

“I miss Myers.  I miss getting on him. I miss his mouth. It’s been a lot quieter without him,” Charlie said.

I think we can all agree that it probably sounded a lot less suggestive when he actually said it.

And sure, who wouldn’t miss a clown?  Teachers at my old high school say all the time, “That Justin sure was a crazy kid. Shouting in class, being sarcastic, not getting in trouble because his father was an administrator.  Ha, ha.  I miss his mouth.”  I mean, I’ll bet they say that.  Why wouldn’t they.

And if nothing else, I think we can all agree that high school and major league baseball are exactly the same, with no glaring, obvious differences.

Phillies-Astros, 1pm, Bright House Field.  Kendrick’s got some more untying of Jamie Moyer’s proverbial shoelaces to do, and an underperforming Houston lineup to do it against.  I’m assuming Kyle knows better than to believe any trade rumors Brett may whisper in his ear.

*2:30 pm, Bright House Field, no Kyle Kendrick*

Oh, for christ’s sake…