Archive for March, 2010

Mar 31st 2010

Brad Lidge Turns to Needle, as Per Doctor’s Advice

AUTHOR: | IN: PHI Phillies | COMMENTS: None Yet

He claims the slider’s working and the strength is “there” but his velocity has yet to get on the bus. Which is disconcerting/not surprising/disconcerting that its not surprising.

Mar 30th 2010

Kyle Kendrick Loses Athletic Competition to 47-Year-Old Man

AUTHOR: | IN: PHI Phillies | COMMENTS: 1 Comment

In the first Phillies news story of the day unrelated to beards, Jamie Moyer is your 5th starter.

Mar 30th 2010

Human Corpse Closes For Phillies; Gives Up Walkoff Home Run

AUTHOR: | IN: PHI Phillies | COMMENTS: None Yet

It says a lot about our lack of real team issues when we’re always talking about the same one.

Mar 29th 2010

“Paint the Town Red” Opens; I Fail at Journalism

AUTHOR: | IN: PHI Phillies | COMMENTS: None Yet

Maybe I AM expecting the Phanatic to devour somebody whole someday, so dyeing him the color of blood is, yeah, probably going to make me point at him and yell *I TOLD YOU! I TOLD YOU ALL!!*

Mar 29th 2010

Phils So Happy to See Ibanez They Drop a Mayberry

AUTHOR: | IN: PHI Phillies | COMMENTS: 1 Comment

The Phillies were so impressed by John Mayberry, Jr.’s peformance in Clearwater this preseason, they had a very clear message for him: Get out.

Mar 27th 2010

West Philly Woman Not Quite A Prostitute, Courts Say

AUTHOR: | IN: PHI Phillies | COMMENTS: 2 Comments

Like a lot of greasy sex stories, this one started on Craigslist.

Mar 27th 2010

Jamie Moyer Wonders if Awesome Pitching Will Get Him Job as Pitcher

AUTHOR: | IN: PHI Phillies | COMMENTS: None Yet

These damn pitchers today with their sexy workouts and their stupid hair.

Mar 26th 2010

Reunion with Phillies Costs Brett Myers a Groin

AUTHOR: | IN: PHI Phillies | COMMENTS: None Yet

God, I can’t WAIT to find out how Brett Myers’ groin feels tomorrow.

Mar 25th 2010

Jeff Francoeur Doesn’t Wish Phillies an Injury-Plagued 2010, But Totally Does

AUTHOR: | IN: PHI Phillies | COMMENTS: None Yet

I sure feel bad for the Mets.

Mar 25th 2010

Brett Myers Not Just a Distant, Abrasive Memory to Charlie Manuel

AUTHOR: | IN: PHI Phillies | COMMENTS: None Yet

Kyle Kendrick will have the pleasure of going head-to-head against Myers, the man responsible for a squad of reporters openly laughing in his face.

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