I never do this, but there were a couple things I wanted to jump on tonight and I don’t feel like penning you the typical compelling, mature slice of sportswriting professionalism you’ve come to expect (and demand!) from this place, so here’s a cheap-ass link dump. Eat it up.
Steve Smith is competing on “The Amazing Race”? He finished fourth out of eleven in the first leg? He didn’t demand that his team keep moving, no matter what the situation was?! PEOPLE STILL WATCH “THE AMAZING RACE”?!?
"It's a home run, dude, I was ALREADY going!"
New York Times: I don’t think Charlie Manuel has ever “… strutted through the clubhouse like a runway model.” Not because it’s girly or insulting, but because those are two things that I can’t and won’t combine. ”The cat sensually ripped off the mouse’s head,” or “The Mets played baseball smoothly, like a cement mixer in the middle of a massive traffic accident,” are also up there.
Game Informer is telling us that MLB 2K10′s got the Phils, with a rating of 91, behind the Yankees and Red Sox, who are tied at 97. And the Dodgers are at 90. Hmm. Hmmmmm. No, I’m not letting that bug me. That would be… stupid…
Akadema signed Shane Victorino to another glove contract! “Victorino had never won a Gold Glove prior to using Akadema,” they’d like you to know. I guess you gotta give credit where credit is apparently due.
Okay, yeah, the Phillies are “setting their sights” on another World Series run, everybody. Thanks for noticing. But here’s the thing, though. That doesn’t count as a news story because it is only Spring Training and that statement is true for every team.
Yes, if Roy Halladay can win 17 games playing in the AL East, he could win 20+ games in the NL East. He could win 30 games in the NL East. He could take off his hat and place it on the mound and go grab the lunch special at Olive Garden and still pitch admirably in the NL East. We play in a crappy division, okay? Damn it. It’s like pointing at your date’s hideous birth mark in public and laughing like a jackass. The NL East is so not having sex with you tonight, Bob Klapisch.
Topics:Amazing Race, Mets Suck, Roy Halladay, Runway Models, Sex, Steve Smith
About the Author
Justin is a tall gentleman whose baseball playing career came to a close after he realized he was too cool for baseball anyway. He discovered writing about the sport was far less humiliating than playing it as no one would have to ask him why he "runs like that."