Also, remember that part where they both get chased down and kicked by a football team?

Astros are the Yoast to our Boone

Remember in Remember the Titans when Denzel Washington (Coach Boone) berates a player and then Will Patton (Coach Yoast) goes to the player and coddles him and strokes his hair and is super nice?

That’s what the Houston Astros are doing to the Phils right now.

First, it was Pedro Feliz.  He was… he was a guy.  Great defender. Gelled well with the team and their philosophy.  Awful offensively, especially in the postseason.  Something happened to this guy when he picked up a bat; his talent, skill and precision that he used to spear hotshots down the line went POOF like a ninja with a fistful of smoke bombs.

And we forgave him, for awhile, but when the time came, Ruben Amaro and the front office knew that to up our game, we need to fix the parts of the machine that aren’t working.  So we did not sign Feliz and he drifted away.

Along came the Astros and scooped him up, patted him on the head, and plopped him in Houston’s hot corner.

Now, they’ve got Brett Myers all over their hands.

Enjoy, Houston!

Brett was a special guy.  Most notably special about him was his distinct ability to be NOT the ace of the staff, like he was supposed to be.  He was decent, then awful, then moved to a closer position, where he excelled, then pushed back into the rotation, and was awful again.  Also he is probably going to be most remembered for taunting Cole Hamels in front of the Philly press, being left off the postseason roster, and oh, PUNCHING HIS WIFE IN THE FACE.  IN PUBLIC.  AT A BAR.

The dude’s all class.

So if the Astros want come in and “Coach Yoast” Brett onto their pitching staff, good luck to them.  Brett likes to speak his mind.  Sadly, his mind does not have a lot to say.

In other ex-Phillies pitcher news, people seem to be equating Scott Eyre’s decision to retire with being dead.

Well, now we need a comic relief guy in the bullpen, too.  The challenges of this offseason just keep piling up.  Who’s going to give the bullpen coach bunny ears during in-game interviews?  WHY DON’T PEOPLE THINK OF THESE THINGS?!

In other words, this post was mostly for show.

Tags: Brett Myers Denzel Washington Houstron Astros Pedro Feliz Philadelphia Phillies Remember The Titans Scott Eyre Will Patton

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