But whose dramatically lit stadium corridor will Roy Halladay be standing in come spring?!

What's Up, (with) Doc?

What the hell’s going on?

Can’t a guy get up at 10 in the morning and not miss half the news day?

“Doc” Halladay has become the recurring guest star in the Phillies sitcom.  We see an aged exterior shot of Citizens Bank Park, then cut to Ruben Amaro’s office, while the GM is sitting at his desk reading a newspaper and grumbling.  Next thing you know, Roy sticks his head in the doorway and the studio audience goes “Woooooo!”  After a few cutting insults, he offers Ruben some sage advice and everyone learns a lesson about the importance of sharing or whatever.

The Full House cast got a real overhaul in the later seasons.

The Full House cast got a real overhaul in the later seasons.

You’re probably wondering if I’ve seen a television show in the last 15 years, and the answer is yes, I did catch a particularly engaging episode of “Full House” yesterday, where Michelle had to do a Greek dance in front of her class and totally screwed it up until Uncle Jesse saved the day.  Explain to me how anything on TV in the last decade has been more groundbreaking.

Just when Halladay’s name in the papers simmers down to a periodic, subdued murmur, just long enough to start thinking about something else, it comes screaming back into play, eyes bugging out, waving a power drill in the air.

I’ve got to say that I just naturally assumed it would peter out.  The starting rotation didn’t seem to be a priority in the set of goals Amaro set up for the Winter Meetings, so I put it out of mind.  When it was said that there were two teams jumping ahead with their interest in Halladay, it only makes sense that it would be the Red Sox and Yankees, because, you know.  They are the tractor beams of baseball.

But no, says TSN.com, the Phillies and Angels are the leaders in this race, apparently.  Which is all the more confusing to me, as Halladay has specified that he doesn’t want to have Spring Training in Arizona, he wants it in Florida, to be close to his family.  He seems to be unaware that he’s a professional athlete, and does not require the “love” of his family to be happy anymore.  Right, Tiger?

Anyways, out of the Angels and Phillies, only one team is in the Grapefruit League (Spring Training in Florida).  It’s the Phillies.  Did I need to say that?  I guess not.

And if I’ve learned anything about baseball this postseason, its to take anything, even the slightest bit of information, and assume that it is the definite truth.

So, with Roy Halladay in our back pocket, we can cruise into the 2010 season with a 1-2 rotational punch that will be doing nothing short of setting the opposition’s uniforms on fire.

Why not a 1-2-3 punch, you ask?  Why assume that Cole Hamels would fall by the wayside just because of a somewhat abysmal season, questionable ‘tude, and two proven dynamos in front of him?

Because Cole Hamels would be traded to the Blue Jays, of course!  The main fodder for Halladay would be J.A. Happ or Kyle Drabek and one of the members of the “Awesome Outfield Prospects Gang,” Dominic Brown or Michael Taylor.  The New York Daily News claims, however, that Hamels could also be a part of the deal.

That sounds likely to me too, because–

“We have no thoughts of trading Cole Hamels,” (Ruben) Amaro said at baseball’s general managers meetings yesterday. “I don’t know where those rumors are coming from, but that’s exactly what they are. Cole Hamels is our pitcher and we’re keeping him, and I’m glad to have him.”

-Philly Inquirer

WHOA!  Whoa.  Where the hell did that come from?  A quote from the Phillies GM saying the exact opposite?!

We are unquestionably fortunate to have the young talent we have.  If Halladay showed up in Philly in exchange for any combination of Happ, Drabek, Taylor, and/or Brown, he would bring more stability to the rotation and improve our chances of another championship.  But will the Phillies pull the trigger?

They were so “laissez faire” in their defense of Happ and Drabek as we coasted toward the trade deadline in ’09, are we to assume now that these players are just as attainable for other teams as that busload of prospects we sent to Cleveland? Somewhere in there, and maybe it was the World Series loss, somebody got fueled to win now, and that’s what a team with Halladay is looking to do.

So, let’s win now.  Let’s sign Uncle Jesse and do the best damn Greek dance we can do.  If it costs us an arm and a leg and another arm and a liver… well, at least we’ll have a 2010 World Series title.

Oh god!  What if we don’t automatically win the WS just because we got Halladay?!  Baseball is scary, I’m going back to bed.

Tags: Los Angeles Angels Philadelphia Phillies Roy Halladay Ruben Amaro

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