Sign, Sign, Everywhere a Sign

On this, hallowed arbitration day, it seems like everybody’s getting their name signed somewhere.

For the Phillies, the question marks are Chad Durbin and Chan Ho Park.  The Phils need to decide whether these guys are getting arbitration or not.  If its offered, and they accept, their salary remains to be determined, but should they choose to sign elsewhere, we get a draft pick.

I think.

I don’t know, this part of baseball feels like a circus that nobody wants to go to.  So like, a normal circus.

Should Placido Polanco be offered arbitration by the Tigers, we’re going to see his price tag take a trip north.  However, if the Phils sign him, we have to give the Tigers our first-round draft pick as well.

Speaking of north, Matt Stairs is Canadian; Fredericton, New Brunswick Canadian to be exact.  While Matt hasn’t been signed anywhere (yet), he is getting his name put on a sign.

A street sign, to be deemed “Matt Stairs Way,” just outside Royal Field Park, where he first signed a pro ball contract. Anyone who has seen Matt Stairs play knows that the “Matt Stairs way” is to abuse baseballs physically and then eat twelve steaks.

Chris Coste has also been signed, but his signing differs greatly from the previous story, as he was: A.) Not given a street in Canada, and B.) Signed by the New York Mets.  Bleccch.  I’m assuming the copy of his book I asked for for Christmas will now include an addendum entitled “Ewww, Gross.”  Am I remembering correctly that there is a part of the 2008 Phillies DVD where Coste is in front of a microphone, saying that he and the Phillies hate the Mets?

Awkward.

Categorically not signed was TBS Sports’ Chip Caray, who made so many mistakes this offseason he could have been an umpire.  Not only was there the infamous Nick Punto line drive-base hit-double play fiasco during the Twins–Tigers playoff, but the man dropped more uses of the word “fisted” than anyone would have deemed necessary had they been playing with only their fists.

And the Sixers want to sign Iverson!  Whoa!  This is getting wacky.

I can’t wait to see what happens on that even crazier “Sign Your Non-free Agents” Day, December 12!