Directly contradicting my post yesterday, the Phillies went ahead and signed a new utility man: Juan Castro, formerly a Dodger, who will be officially the beginning of a new bench once he passes physicals to be sure he is not infected with “Bruntlett Syndrome,” in which the victim sprouts a large beard and discharges poor quality baseball all over the field.
A .277 hitter with a single HR this past year, Castro is a clear addition to the Ruben Amaro “defense off the bench” school of thought. With these bench guys the past few years, we’re not really seeing what we’ve got (or don’t got) until the moment they hit the dirt.
So, in theory, this was a quality get.
Pujols had (STATS STATS STATS) 47 HR, 125 R, .658 SLG, the best OBP in the NL (.443) and a whole bunch of other stuff that’s really, really good.
But Victorino is the first Major League All-Star to come out of Maui! That’s got to be worth, like, 17 votes. Clearly, the deciding body is rifled with corruption. Have you ever been to Maui? It’s beautiful.
But, it was determined in a unanimous vote (which hasn’t happened since 2002) that Pujols was the unabashed winner.
And lastly, with global warming and economic detriment filling the world, it only makes sense that Notre Dame’s quarterback is getting punched in the face.