"With this baseball, I could put a 5-inch hole in your daddy's chest."

Saturday Afternoon Dots on the Screen

*Yawn*

As you probably know, Roommate is a Yankees fan.  That started some conflict between us.  But, now that it’s basketball season, he’s a Knicks fan, which is like finishing a dinner of filet mignon and having a box of crayons for dessert.

He just informed me that Nate Robinson fired a shot into the wrong basket, scoring the opposing Nets 2 points right before the buzzer.

I don’t follow basketball, but from his descriptions, the Knicks sound like they are perpetually that team from a sports movie that is comically bad and full of characters, but never actually gets to the climax where they turn it around and start doing well thanks to an angel/ghost/child taking over as majority owner.

So, what’s in the news today?

  • Shane Victorino is attending the anniversary celebration of a surf shop in Maui.  Yeah, if you’re a native of Hawaii, where do you go for your Honeymoon?  The 5th dimension?  A spaceship?
  • Cliff Lee and Chase Utley have joined Eric Bruntlett in the hallowed group of “Phillies with pieces of clothing/equipment in the Hall of Fame.”  Cliff’s hat from his 4-0, 1.56 ERA run in five postseason starts, and the bat Chase used to tie some guy named Reggie Jackson for postseason home runs are now on display in the “Autumn Glory” section of the Hall.
  • Wait a second, Eric Bruntlett’s not a Phillie!  Ha!
  • And, because the Phillies are “good” now, this of course means you will have to pay more money to see them. The brass is sneaking in some teensy little $2-4 increases in ticket prices and hoping you won’t notice, but what they are forgetting is that this economy’s got all the stability of a dead tauntaun, so any price increase isn’t a good thing, no matter how small.
  • Cliff Lee went on tour through a small Colorado town to taunt a local high school baseball team about making fools out of their heroes a few weeks before.
  • Nah, the dude’s got class.  I think he was just there to hunt.
  • Speaking of Cliff, Mike Potter thinks he should win a Cy Young next year.  Uh, yeah.  He should.  That would be great.
  • Yeah, I remember when we were paying Wes Helms to do stuff.  I feel you, Michael.
  • Josh Johnson cutting off talks with the Marlins?!  Teams that need pitching start sniffing the air.
  • Oh god, my fantasy football team went from “awesome” to “terrible” in a quarter of a second.  This is what I get for going up against guys with planned strategies, while I scramble madly to assemble what looks like a football team, minutes before the 1:00 games start.

That’s about it.  Here’s hoping the Knicks find their magical stardust, or whatever.

Tags: 2010 Tickets Cliff Lee Jokes About Eric Bruntlett Being Terrible Josh Johnson New York Knicks Phillies Tauntaun Corpse

comments powered by Disqus