"... no, Thomas, you've got to understand you can't just buy a team and not expect small-market clubs to keep their mouths shut."

U.S. Congress to Yankees: "Nyeh, nyeh, nyeh"

Apparently, most years, the United States Congress does a little thing where a representative from the World Series victor’s region submits a resolution to congratulate their team.  With all the atrocities popping off around the world, this is often seen as a cute little break in the action, and is passed unanimously.

Not this year.

They basically wasted an entire afternoon going out of their way to not congratulate the Yankees, which is just about the greatest governmental proceeding I’ve ever heard of.

Then again, there’s some pretty nasty shit developing on every side of the world, so maybe “Yankees suck” isn’t really the best usage of their time right now.

Offseason shuffles continue, as Scott Eyre announces he’s ripping off his Phillies jersey and hurling it into his fireplace in a fit of passion.  “Loose bodies” or not, Eyre won’t be coming back next year, having filed for free agency.  The bullpen will remain safe from goofball antics, until some other mid-to-late 30s relief pitcher decides to be “The Funny One.”

Happy trails, Scott.

Anybody else keep expecting them to say “National Lampoon’s” before the phrase “loose bodies”?  It feels too natural to ignore.

The Mets’ offseason is also chock full of thought-provoking moves (Because, you know.  Their’s has been a lot longer than ours).  Seeking out a giant baseball bat, like a lot of teams are in need of, they seem to show interest guys like Matt Holliday (Who isn’t?) or Jason Bay.

But now they’re buying admission to the “Chone Figgins Rodeo,” and want to, I don’t know, move him to left or something.

Figgins has got to feel like the prettiest girl at Prom right now.  There’s a truckload of teams all hunting for the same three players, and he’s one of them (Apparently, he’ the only 3B on the free agent market to get an “A” from the “Letter Grades for Professional Athletes Agency” or whatever).

Everyone’s making loud, purposeful coughs over his postseason numbers, I guess (*COUGH* 9-for-35, .086 BA, 9 K *AHEM*).

Change:  It’s a good thing.  Isn’t that right, Congress?

Tags: Chone Figgins Fireplace New York Mets Scott Eyre U.S. Congress

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