Oh! I just realized we won't get to hear the first few notes of "Feliz Navidad" when he does something cool ever again. That is way, way more upsetting than it should be.

It’s the Halladay Season… Uh, Again


The offseason is merely days old, and there’s already a few Phillies being kicked off the bus.  Brett Myers was escorted out already, and with the weekend passing, we saw the exit of Eric Bruntlett and Pedro Feliz, two guys that just couldn’t put the pieces together offensively (though Feliz is one hell of a damn fine defensive third baseman, and I will miss him).

So, with a quarter of our infield now being played by a cardboard cut-out of the Phanatic, the Phillie blogosphere is on fire with replacement predictions.  Going from Abraham Nunez to Pedro Feliz was not a particularly huge change, though an undeniable upgrade.  Both were more based in defense, and I always felt like Feliz, though not particularly strong with a bat, was more likely to stroke a single to left than Nunez ever was.

A guy at third base who could hit and field effectively would be a welcome change and a bad ass addition to an already stacked infield.  Names being tossed around include Mark Derosa, Melvin Mora, Adrian Beltre, Chone Figgins, and Scott Rolen (Ha ha ha, just kidding).

The most I remember about Chone Figgins was thinking his name so funny that Roommate and I composed a rap song about him during the ALDS (and a case of beer).

"My name's Chone Figgins, and it's plain to see, I'm the baddest mother f*cker that there'll ever be. I play for the Angels, but I don't got wings; put a bat in my hands, you'll see magical things."

"My name's Chone Figgins, and it's plain to see, I'm the baddest mother f*cker that there'll ever be. I play for the Angels, but I don't got wings; put a bat in my hands, you'll see magical things."

In other news, Cole Hamels had such a questionable season, on and off the field, that the Phillies are giving him a raise ($4.35 to $6.65 million).  Ha ha, baseball is funny.

Also, Greg Dobbs is getting a raise.

Eric Bruntlett, outside of an accidental triple play, has done nothing, and must be stopped.  Head on over to the petition linked just prior to this sentence to join the cause.  Won’t somebody please think of the children?!

There were several hints prior to the Cooperstown trip that would have told Jimmy's father he would be most drawn to the Eric Bruntlett exhibit.

"Damn it, Jimmy... you are the 'Eric Bruntlett' of sons."

Cooperstown, 2016

Child:  Daddy, who was Eric Bruntlett and why is his jersey here?

*Father looks around, embarrassed, and ushers child away from exhibit*

But the best part of the offseason is that we get to hear Roy Halladay’s name again. Which feels even stranger, this time around, because there’s even less prospects to feed him.  Although, with the 2010 season being the last one on his contract, that means his price would be less too, so…

Basically, raise your hand if you want to win another World Series next year.  Okay, and raise your hand if you want to keep our chances high for the next couple of years.

Great.  Because Halladay, if he were to be a part of a sexy Halladay-Lee-(Back to form?!) Hamels-Martinez rotation, would be about as subtle as your head exploding in the middle of church.

With the way moves are being made already, it won’t be at all shocking to see Ruben Amaro take his higher payroll and newfound balls (after all, he gets a blank check for credibility after signing Pedro and Cliff) out for a spin with some radical changes.

Tags: Brett Myers Chone Figgins Cliff Lee Offseason Pedro Feliz Philadelphia Phillies Roy Halladay