Just Kidding About the Cage Match

Oh my lord, are the Giants riding a hot streak.

Scrambling for their lives in the last few weeks of the season, the San Fran 25 are packing some heat, and are more than happy to send the Rockies home for a long, hard look at themselves in the frozen Colorado winter.

We should be playing like we are in a playoff race, too, because… we are.  We’re just sitting a lot more comfortably than the Giants are, so they are going to be bringing some scrap to this series that we’re going to have to do our best to match.

I’d like to say we aren’t facing that guy with the screaming arm, but Lincecum takes the mound Thursday against Pedro, which should actually be …interesting.  Actually, I just checked Lincecum’s stats against our lineup and became horrifically depressed (8 IP, 8 K, 0.00 ERA).

Put a guy like that in a playoff race, and its like how a wolverine gets more ferocious when its close to death.

Happ for NL Rookie of the Year, anyone?  10-3, 2.63 ERA?

More like everyone.

THE PROBLEM:

Tonight’s starter, as everyone knows, has been struggling all season.  Yes, we’ve seen evidence that Cole’s got all of his talent, its just not coming to the surface right now.

Another guy underperforming (which means, not hitting a monstrous home run every time) is Matt Stairs, the man who is Cole’s exact opposite body type.

THE SOLUTION

They fight each other.

Hang on, before you sigh and start carving “He used to be better” into Cole Hamels’ grave stone, just think about it.  All season long, we’ve been making the same argument regarding Cole, and how he’s still got it, but its just not there.

So, something needs to spark the consistent, high quality, WS MVP pitching out of him.  What better catalyst than to square off against a 222 pound man-beast for your job?

And Stairs, he could take the chance to work his offensive frustrations out by laying a wildly successful beat down on a dude the size of his left leg.

The part of the picture you cant see is Cole Hamels head soaring over the RF wall.

The part of the picture you can't see is Cole Hamels' head soaring over the RF wall.

A widow.

A widow.

Cage match?

No, they’re all right, and if they’re not both back on track by the season’s end, I’ll eat all three of my hats, plus the wiener one they gave out on Father’s Day at Citizens Bank Park.

Photos courtesy of http://www3.allaroundphilly.com and http://4.bp.blogspot.com

Topics: Cole Hamels, Cole Hamels' Wife, Matt Stairs, MLB, Philadelphia Phillies

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