Jamie Moyer: He's Serious

With Cliff Lee joining up, the Phils are starting to look pretty dangerous, like a gun.  The issue is, however, that there are just too many bullets lying around.  The team could have a ticker tape parade and toss starting pitchers out instead of candy.  Not everybody can say they’ll have a job when the playoffs start.

Yup.  In this gun, there’s only five chambers, and with the revolving door of ammunition starting on the mound for us this year, you know somebody’s getting fired.

Joe Blanton keeps throwing the baseball hard, and mostly for strikes.  I mean, I don’t know what else they could really ask of him.  Dude’s a work horse.

Pedro’s flirting with playing professional baseball again, but in what appear to be a handful of mediocre-at-best minor league starts, I’m not sure what their hurry would be.  Especially after putting together such a delicate dance routine to acquire a fantastic pitcher without dropping Happ (or Drabek).

Brett Myers. Get in the bullpen, Brett.  Let’s not make a whole “thing” out of this.

This is usually the part where somebody yells “Jamie Moyer is 46 years old!”

Jamie Moyer has six wins since June 21, which, I know, sounds like one of those baseball stats that’s crafted out of obscure and miniscule details to make a guy sound good.  But it’s relatively simple, and impressive at that.  With a rotation that’s bubbling over with starters, (a nice, unique problem to have) Moyer is having no problem putting an exclamation point on all of his appearances.  And the sentence that precedes it is “I’m keeping my job!

Not bad, Jamie.  Not bad for a guy whose face reads like an empty Scrabble board.  In and around Philly, you’ll find yourself driving down the highway, when suddenly you are accosted by Jamie Moyer’s face.  It’s a billboard for St. Joe’s University, and the featured graphic is Moyer, giving a blank stare to you as you head to work.  Haunting, it seems, to the point that I don’t even remember what the ad is supposed to get across, other than that he’s Jamie Moyer and his enthusiasm has just…dissipated.

The guy looks like he just placed 7th in a Sudoku tournament.  In Cleveland.  And the contestants were not permitted to converse with each other.

Anywho, if we’re going to whittle these starters down to five, it just makes sense to include Jamie.  He brings a sense of leadership to the rotation, and if nothing else, he knows what he is good for.  If he wasn’t still able to contribute, he wouldn’t be wearing a uniform.

Lee, Hamels, Happ, Moyer, Blanton.  Lopez should be thankfully dropped, Myers gently corralled into the bullpen, and Pedro…god, I am just not interested in seeing what his arm can do anymore.  Maybe if he’d been brought in years ago, when he was the best pitcher in the AL, but the more I hear about his lukewarm starts in the minors, the less anxious I am to see him on the mound at Citizens Bank.

Here’s hoping he proves me wrong.

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